I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
