I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im six kinds of drunk right now
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
