She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
