i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
