wanna go halves on a baby?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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