I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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