why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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