In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
