i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
