we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
