we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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