Cold hands, warm shart.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
