Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
