Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
