No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
