Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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