I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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