How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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