I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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