I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
