Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
