...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
