well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
