So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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