What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
