dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
