theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
