I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
