a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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