I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
