i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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