she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
