Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
