is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
