So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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