real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
