ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
