remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
