I like to think it a success when the cops are called
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
