I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize