I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
