Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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