there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
