we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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