Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
