Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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