Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
