you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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