Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dick very happy bro
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
