He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
