My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
