Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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