Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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